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A Mistake Most People Make that Prevents Success
A Mistake Most People Make that Prevents Success
By Michael Erwin
I had timed things really well and just got to the photo shop before it closed. I ran in grabbed the photos and headed to my next appointment. When I got home later that evening I opened the photos and my wife screamed. The photos were not ours – they were of a teenage birthday party.
It struck me that how worthless these photos seemed to us and yet how valuable they would be to the person having the birthday. No one wants anyone else's pictures. This seems so obvious when we look at physical photos.
Yet on a psychological level, we accept other people’s photos all the time - and live to regret it. We take other people's pictures of reality and accept they must become part of our lives. We adopt our parents' model of relationships; our mother's fears about money; our brother's attitude about sex; our boss’ view on our career; and on, and on.
The images that form your “picture of reality” have a huge impact on your use of time and your chances of being happy, healthy and feeling worthwhile.
The photo analogy is a good one because our mind works best with images. Accepting these “images” (beliefs) is like downloading digital photos directly to your mind, without stopping to see if they are our own – just as I didn’t check the photos at the photo shop.
Do you sometimes feel guilty? Pressured? Stressed? What beliefs (“images”) are these based on? Did you choose them? Who do they really belong to? DO THESE SERVE YOU? Are these images of reality helping you achieve your goals and live your values?
Most people's pictures of reality are fear-based and limiting, and do not serve YOU. Yet you take them home and replicate them in your own life, to the point that you believe they are your own. If your are not careful, you pass them on to your children. Then you wonder why we and the people you know are stressed and unhappy. All because you accepted ineffective or unhappy pictures that never belonged to you in the first place.
Contrary to what you have been taught, the reality you live in is a choice. You generate reality by the images you CHOOSE focus on. The more you pay attention to any picture of reality, the more real it becomes to you. You can create happiness simply by focusing on and creating “happy pictures”.
Some of the images that our client’s have unconsciously accepted include “real work is doing, not thinking” “being organised is anal & boring” “showing emotion is weak” “if I don’t know the solution, I am a failure” “saying no is rude!”
The critical voice is not your own. You were not born with thoughts of judgment, lack, and separateness. They are all learned. Choose to unlearn them. Remove all the photos from the album and then fill the album with photos that produce happiness for you :-)
Michael Erwin is a Time Creation Coach who helps busy executives and sales people create an extra hour day. His clients have improved effectiveness by up to 50% and increased sales by as much as 70%. For more information go to Time Creation Coaching.
Time Can Be On Your Side!
Make Time For Success! is the newest downloadable e-book from Mind Tools. It contains more than 100 pages of time tested tips and techniques that can help you work better and get the most that life has to offer. You will learn how to set realistic goals, generate a life plan and take advantage of all of the opportunities that life has to offer. All of the lessons are included workbook exercises so that you fully understand how to put these invaluable skills to work in your life. We strongly recommend it. For more information go to Mind Tools.